Saturday, August 8, 2009
Love
Its not just a word. Its a feeling you get when you look into their eyes and just see adventure. Its when you see them walking your way and later that day, your still smiling. Love can be many things, weather its love of material objects, animals, friends, family, or that one person that you just...love. I could go on and on about what my perception of love is but i'm not going to. Love is different in everyones eyes, and if you havent found that, i want you to. Dont put yourself out there, but discover whats out there and explore it, its not easy, its hard. But lack of faith, can lead to lack of dreams, leading you to lack love.
I'm now 14 and i just went on a school trip with my 8th grae class earlier this summer. Thats when i knew that i loved a kid named Sean. Sean was nice, sweet, funny, charming, amazing, and well perfect in my eyes. It all happened when my friend mattie said she was sitting next to alexa for the four hour bus ride to our first hotel.
"Hey gaybi, im sorry...im sitting with alexa..." she said, not even looking me in the eye. She continued, "its juts, she has no one to sit with and then i offered thinking she would say 'no its fine' but she accepted it with a smile and..." Ugh. I couldnt bear this any longer. I told her it was completely fine and she skipped across the bus to alexa. That left me sitting all alone, empty seat next to me.
I knew that there was no way, no way at ALL that i would be able to live through this ride alone. I peeked my head over the seats and found Sean walking up looking for a seat. But he already had one! Right next to me :)
The thing about Sean was that i loved him ever since i laid eyes on him in 6th grade. The thing about sean is that i secretly obsessed over him, still, no ones knows to this day. The freaking thing about Sean, he will never like me back. Never has, never will. But nevertheless i like (if not love) him.
On the car ride, we caught up with everything new thats happening with us. His mom just had a baby girl named Gabby (soooo close to my name!!!), and i just broke up with chase for the last time. He said, "Oh, look, i'm sorry about you and chase but no offence, he's gay. You can do much better!" I didnt have time to stop the smile that spread across my face faster than you can say, "I'M IN LOVE!"
Then, i got struck by tiredness. Within 10 minutes i fell asleep on his boney little shoulder.
**
When i woke up, i found that he had put his coat on his shoulder so that i could have a pillow. "Wow, sleep much?" He commented once i sat up and took a look around. Then i looked at him, and he had a red smudge on his left check, then i saw it was a sleep mark. He tilted my head up as if he was gonna kiss me and said, "Okay so i slept too."
I wore his jacket 5 out of the 7 days, and over the trip we became really close. But the best day of the trip was the last day. We were getting on the plane and somehow we ended up sitting next to eachother. We flied on an amazing airline that let you listen to the radio. Everytime i changed the station, he would too. On the plane ride, i wore hannah's jacket because i thought he might be tired of me stealing his. Of course i fell asleep, and then he woke me up once we had flown across the country.
"Hey, um, Gaybi...can i have my jacket back?" Hannah asked because apparently she thought that airports were super cold back here in Cali. So i gave it back to her but then shivvered. So maybe it was cold. Then i looked at Sean who took his jacket of and put it around my shouldners with a, "Happy?" Well, my smile told him i was happy because i was now, warm.
All the girls went to the bathroom, and i sat in one of the waiting chairs away from the bathroom with most of the guys and a few of the girls. I jumped a little when i felt hands on my neck but they quickly soothed me with an amazing neck massage.
I thought it was probably my friend Jenna, but then i realized something. Jenna wasnt on my plaine. I turned around to the grinning face of Sean.
Ever since that trip, i've had one boyfriend. But it could never mesure up to the amount that i liked Sean and Chase. Chase hates me for any of you who didnt know.
Sean likes me now, as a best friend.
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